


eight and a half months and then some

by sanumarox123



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 2012!Phan, Angst, Breakup, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M, i actually cried whilst writing this, it started out as head canons and became a fic, this is angsty i'm sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-31
Updated: 2016-01-31
Packaged: 2018-05-17 07:48:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5860351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sanumarox123/pseuds/sanumarox123
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>five looks into late 2012! and early 2013!phan over the course of a little more than eight and a half months, and then some.</p>
            </blockquote>





	eight and a half months and then some

**Author's Note:**

> all eva's fault; she started sending me headphanons and i cried and then i was inspired to write THE ONE THING I SAID I'D NEVER DO: 2012!phan. 
> 
> angst, angst, and a sort of happy ending. 
> 
> (and just act like the real life timeline fits, alright? set sometime from mid/late 2012 to early 2013 when all the shit started to go down.)

_i. day seven_  
   
It's 4am, and Phil has his ear against Dan's door because Dan is pacing once again. It's been a week since they broke up, and it pains him that he isn't able to go and comfort Dan like he was able to before.  
   
(He just wants to know if Dan's okay.)  
   
So instead, Phil has to make do with listening to Dan's tears and frantic pacing, and just wishing that he could do something to make his best friend's pain stop.  
   
(Sometimes Phil falls asleep there, and rushes back to his room when he wakes up, pretending like everything is normal.)

* * *

_ii. day forty-five_  
   
In the first two months, Dan stays inside his bedroom and Phil tries to keep his mind occupied. Meals are always the worst: Phil cooks for the two of them, and sets the table for two just in case Dan comes out (although he never does). After cleaning up in the kitchen, Phil leaves the food at his flat mate's door and quietly knocks to let him know it's there.  
Sometimes, he slips a note under the door ( _bear -_   _i_ _left_ _some_ _food_ _and_ _water. please eat it and drink. we all need you healthy._ ), because Phil still loves him and wants him to be ready to talk, but he doesn't want to push Dan either.  
   
(Phil doesn't know that the notes he sends Dan on cute dinosaur sticky notes makes Dan smile from the other side of the door, and when Dan hears Phil outside his door during his late night breakdowns, he would lie by his door just to be close to Phil.)

* * *

_iii. day one hundred and eight_  
   
Phil has a t-shirt of Dan's that he never gave back previous to their breakup, and almost every night, he sleeps with it. It reminds him of the memories he and Dan had shared, and one day, a little more than three and a half months after their breakup, Phil becomes so overwhelmed with the tension that radiates throughout the flat that he curls up in his bed with Dan's shirt and cries.  
   
(Dan cries harder on those nights, because if there's one thing that, after their breakup, pains him the most, it's to know that Phil is suffering.)

* * *

_iv. day one hundred and seventy-three_  
   
Eventually Dan has to make a new video. He comes out of his room to take a shower and on his way back to his room in a towel he sees how the table is set for two that night as well and starts crying again, and Phil hears it. For the first time in nearly six months, they hug. Neither of them can hide the tears on their faces, or the way that their hug lasts a little bit longer than most (exactly four minutes and sixteen seconds, but Phil's not counting).  
   
(This is the night that they decide that they're going to have to somehow go back to normal to keep their lives and future intact. They're going to have to act fine and just like they had before, just without the physical contact.)

* * *

_v. two hundred and fifty-nine_  
   
It stays like that for a while. One night, almost three months after the silent peace treaty, Phil is in the lounge watching an episode of Sherlock. Twenty minutes in, Dan comes out of his room and sits down next to Phil without saying anything, and they watch the show in silence. Over the course of the next hour, each of them slides a little bit closer and closer until Phil, with his heart beating, tentatively puts an arm around his friend. Dan curls up next to him and lays his head on Phil's lap, and Phil hopes that Dan can't hear his heart beating as loud and as fast as it is (even though he knows that's technically impossible), and his slight anxiety doesn't dwindle until Dan drags a blanket over himself and Phil, and wraps his arms around Phil's leg.  
   
They don't say anything; they just watch the conclusion of the episode, enjoying each other's company in a way they haven't for months. They end up staying on the couch even after the episode ends because they both don't want to go back to their rooms, so they silently agree to just stay as they are, and fall asleep.  
   
The next morning, Phil wakes up first and just watches Dan sleep. Phil's hands lightly play with Dan's curls, and a feeling of contentment falls over him for the first time in eight and a half months. His heart clenches in hope when Dan nuzzles his face against his palm, sliding closer to Phil, and he can feel a smile form on his lips.  
   
Maybe everything will turn out all right in the end.

* * *

_vi. day three thousand, one hundred and seventy-one_ _~~(approximately, since they stopped counting)~~ _

They look at each other, both donned in their best tuxes and wearing similar goofy grins on their faces. 

"I, Phillip Michael Lester, take you, Daniel James Howell..." 

* * *

(It did.)

**Author's Note:**

> WHOEVER GOT THE YEAR FOR THE LAST DAY SECTION HERE'S A TON OF PHIL LESTER ANGEL BEANS FOR YOU 
> 
> i just realised there's a hella lot of symbolism in this fic that i didn't mean to put in and i'm sort of in love with it
> 
> hope you enjoyed! remember, don't cry, craft. *leaves out the back door*


End file.
